The statement by FBI special agent Matthew DeSarno following this weekend’s hostage-taking situation in Texas that the incident “was not specifically related to the Jewish community” was proved to be true! Fakin’News exclusive!

We gathered information from witnesses, and carefully listened to the recordings form the incident. Here is what we found:

Malik Faisal Akram, the terrorist killed after taking hostages in a synagogue in Colleyville, TX, was sure he was walking into a Burger King, our sources confirm. He demanded food, and asked for a burger with extra bacon. Here is the full conversation in that exchange:

Malik: And I DEMAND a burger with EXTRA bacon!!!
FBI: You can only get plain pizza.
Malik: What the hell?
FBI: It has to be kosher.
Malik, to Rabbi Charlie: WTF, you guys are Jewish???!!!!

And there you have it. Total coincidence. All he really wanted that day was some bacon on his burger.

The post The FBI was right! Texas Synagogue Attack Was NOT an Anti-Semitic act!!! appeared first on Opine Away.

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Get in on the action! Living in LA? Just visiting? Use our maps to find the best locations and schedule to do a little SmashN’Grab!

We have special rates for the holidays! Visit www.LA-Loot-Sched.defund for LA maps, and www.Loot-USA.defund for a list of other great Equal Distribution location all over the US!

*Coming soon, global maps for your global vacations!

The post LA Star Maps are out, Equal Distribution Maps are in! appeared first on Opine Away.

They are making it an official annual event! The Friday before Thanksgiving will now be called Smash & Grab Friday. There’s nothing like free crap to show the holidays spirit.

A source in the well established CCA (Criminal Consumer Association) just leaked that as part of Criminal Prime the Friday will be extended and become Smash & Grab Friday Week, to give enough time and opportunities to Lowlifes across the nation to take advantage of it. You can sign up to Criminal Prime on the CCA website where you can purchase a weekly extortion subscription for the service.

In a statement to Fakin’News JJ “Hotstepper” Jones, an LLM (Lowlives Matter) official, stated “Yep, if we can get in who’s gonna stop us? And if we’re already there, we can’t leave empty handed, after all it’s the holidays and shit”.

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