The reason that Jeff Bezos Wore a Hat

We all wondered what was the story with wearing that hat for the space flight in that big hilariously shaped rocket.

We here at Fakin’ News work relentlessly to find the information for you. We sent microscopic drones with tiny 4K cameras to find out all the behind-the-scene facts about this flight, and we found out why that hat was on, and was not removed!

Wait for it….you won’t believe this photo, showing Jeff just after all that publicity powwows, relaxing in his private room taking off his hat. It is unreal!!!

He got Borg implements! To give him advantage in business, allow him to control the space shclong rocket without anyone knowing, and to be able to answer all the questions Alexa is asked in real time, special enhancing implements were attached to his brain and enables him not only to communicate with the mighty internet directly with his mind, but also to control his coffee maker from bed! The technology, called Lithographic Gargantua Brain Tethered Quantum Artificial Intelligence Hairline, or LGBTQAIH, was secretly developed in the private section of Areas 51 and financed solely by Bezos’ money found in his Levis’ change pocket.

This is a Fakin’ News exclusive. Remember where you read it first!

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