Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream will be rebranded, and included as an annex to The United States House of Representatives and by that become part of the United States congress.
The brand will be renamed and officially be called “Ben & Jerry’s I Scream”.
The move was approved with the help of the queen of congress Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, AKA “Sandy”, AKA “AOC”, AKA “Hey, Oh, See?”. When asked (but why ask?), AOC replied “Like you can’t sell Ice Cream to people if you need to call them oppressed, because then they are like not oppresssy feely or anything, they like happy because they like eat ice cream and stuff. Also my grandmother is poor and my Tesla doesn’t understand me anymore, I asked it to take me to “my office”, and it answers it doesn’t understand my orifice. Or maybe it was Siri. I don’t know anymore because I’m so stressed from the floods in Germany they are so close to us, I need therapy.
Ben and Jerry as well as Unilever did not respond to our request for comments about the announcement, rumor has it they all suffer from a severe brain freeze.